Answer # 47

With a smile! That's right. Show firmness, yet at the same time be relaxed and friendly about it.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to come across as a religious fanatic fired up with purple-veined emotion on the subject. There's no need to make friends and relatives feel condemned and guilty by what you say. Your example will be testimony enough to them.

Most of them haven't the faintest idea where Christmas customs came from or why they are following them. It's more superstition than it is religion. They're just doing what everyone around them does.

If you haven't read our reprint article "Should You Try to Convert Others?" you should request a copy.

Many of the problems arising from the Christmas season can be resolved if you apply three principles:

1) Stress your objection to the commercialism of the season. Immediately you have everyone, with the possible exception of some shopkeepers and commercial interests, on your side.

Who can deny that Christmas is a crassly commercial holiday, that it is budget-bustingly expensive? Who would not - especially as general economic conditions worsen - rather spend the money on more needful items, like maybe heating the house? Who does not dread the wearisome Christmas shopping experience, the time-consuming uncertainty as to what to buy for whom?

All you have to say is you've had enough of it, that when you give a gift you want to do it spontaneously instead of as a slave to some custom. After the initial shock wears off, most people will respect your stand and secretly wish they had the courage to do likewise. Some, in fact, heartened by your example, may do just that!

2) Maintain a sense of humor. Let's face it, cutting trees down and then setting them back up loaded with ornaments, the whole gift-trading rigmarole, the thought of an overweight, bearded individual decked out in flamboyant red and traveling through the air in a sled or some other conveyance when he is not slithering up and down someone's chimney - these and so many other traditions are ridiculous. Feel free to point that out. Who can deny it?

3) Put the burden of proof on those who are celebrating Christmas. It's not that there isn't overwhelming proof to back you up in your decision to cease celebrating Christmas. There certainly is. But most people have neither the time nor the interest for a detailed explanation. So shift the burden of proof to them.

Say, in effect, "If you can show me where the Bible says I ought to observe Christmas, or where it says early Christians celebrated Jesus' birthday, I will celebrate it also!"

The discussion will probably end very suddenly at that point. Of course, if the person to whom you are speaking shows an obvious interest in learning about the real origin of Christmas, you should be prepared to give an appropriate answer.